As a woman, and an athlete, who can “have it all” are you just a little bit tired of always being so hard on yourself?
You love being an athlete because using your body is like coming home. And it’s more than just a way to stay slim or healthy. It’s what makes you feel alive and connected. Exercise helps with focus, discipline, creativity and energy. You know at the deepest core level that movement matters and being an athlete is empowering.
As a kid you probably took part in sports, but as you got through college and into the working world, all the focus was on ‘succeeding’ in the ‘real’ world. And, because you are a hard-working achiever, you’ve done that. You have succeeded. You are doing it all.
The trouble is, even though you have discipline and goals, and you use your body and your mind, you are doing it in a way that is not sustainable. You know that you can have the life you want, but all those voices in your head about what you should be doing and how you should be living, are driving you crazy. And to top it off, you are really hard on yourself.
We live in an over committed, perfection-focused world.
Wouldn’t it be fantastic to feel balanced, successful and totally connected to your choices, without compromising your highest priorities and values? And do that without being mean to yourself, while having a lot more fun.
Here are the main issues that I see hard-working, take-it-all–on women athletes face today.
It’s not so much that you can’t have what you want, it’s that you are extremely hard on yourself while doing it. Instead of being your own biggest supporter, you are your biggest critic. The inner dialogue is always about how you fall short, never about how amazing you are. You compare yourself to other people and that leaves you feeling unhappy with where you are. You are not nice to yourself and it doesn’t work, because constantly judging yourself and finding faults does not lead to greater motivation.
You end up taking on way too much and you are stuck doing things you “should” be doing. You’d like to be accepted and loved by everyone. You keep saying yes to things that you don’t really want to do. You might even be in a career that you don’t love, simply because it was the ‘right’ thing to do and part of ‘the path’ you are supposed to follow. It’s really hard to feel fulfilled and balanced when you are doing things to meet other people’s expectations of how you should live your life.
Self-care is a foreign language. Plenty of sleep, time for yourself, play and rejuvenation, healthy food, healthy relationships, self acceptance and compassion, an inner loving dialogue… what?! This is not a natural arena for you. We have been taught that “more is more” and to succeed we need to be busy. Really, really, busy. To take time out for ourselves would be judged as incredibly selfish.
Let’s face it, you kick ass already in everything you do. Now stop kicking your own ass.
Imagine being nice to your self, not worrying about what other people think and feeling free, relaxed and fulfilled.
Self-awareness, self-reflection and self-work are platforms for growth. With self-awareness comes understanding. With understanding comes choice. Just like training for a race with a periodization plan, you continually build and reach a new level and then grow from there. Be kind, patient, supportive and happy with your experiences.
Let your values and needs lead. Imagine that you are doing just enough of what you love, instead of doing too much in order to prove yourself. Less is more. When you shift the authority of your life from outside of you, to within you, choices resonate at a much deeper level and happiness comes with that. You are the authority on you.
Pay attention to your body. When you listen to your body, you can take care of yourself in a more powerful and sustainable way. Tune in and make choices that support balance, health, performance and happiness. This leads to fewer injuries, less illness, less anxiety, less exhaustion. More fun!
When your inner world is a beautiful, supportive world (not a perfect world) you’ll be doing more of what want and you’ll feel empowered, strong and charged.
Working with a coach gives you perspective, accountability, awareness and deep self compassion.
Instead of pushing yourself harder, and hating yourself, you will determine what balance and success are for you. You will also become your own biggest ally, have more fun, and still be very effective.
A lot of people worry that if they are not striving for perfection, they won’t succeed. The striving perpetuates a cycle of not feeling good enough. Thinking we are not good enough is one of the biggest reasons we keep on being hard on ourselves. The goal is to understand what is driving us and make that healthy.
Here are some of the most common results people enjoy after working with me:
You’ll develop awareness around choices, actions, thoughts and habits. You are either living mindfully or you are not.
You’ll determine your top values. Not those of your family of origin, or of the culture or society in which you live. Your personal unique values.
You’ll understand and navigate your inner critic and fears. There is a positive intention behind every hard-on-your self thought. We just have to find it, understand it and then decide what to do with it.
You’ll shift from should do, and have to, to choose to and want to.
What makes this program unique?
In this program we apply the principles of being an athlete to your inner world. Being an athlete in addition to having a career makes you different. As an athlete, you know the importance of self-awareness. You know you have to understand how your body needs to move, and what areas need strength training to make improvements.
Your body is a starting point. It has wisdom. Self-awareness leads to discoveries, which open up opportunities for growth. We’ll move inwards as the coaching develops.
You know what it feels like to be on a team where the members are contributing, not competing with each other. Where there is belonging and compassion, not fighting. We do this for your inner world.
This is a holistic approach. You know that when you are training for an event you need to keep perspective and stay clear about the big picture. The gains are made by eating healthy food, sleeping, recovering from one workout before doing another one and having strong relationships with key people in your life. A holistic approach allows you to live your passion and keeps you from feeling overwhelmed. This approach works in all areas of life, not just athletics.
There are benefits to working this way.
A holistic-athlete-based approach to life is sustainable. If you want to keep being an athlete you know you have to take care of your body. If you want to enjoy your life you have to take care of your mind. As a person who knows how to do a lot, mastering the art of being brings balance, fulfillment, fun and freedom.
You won’t be dragging yourself to your workouts or your office. Your self-worth won’t be tied up in taking on the world and proving yourself. And your body will show you that: you will feel motivated and energized by your choices, not burned out and overwhelmed.
As someone who is hard on yourself, you probably expect change quickly. This can work in your favor! However, if being hard on yourself, self-awareness, or self-care are not concepts you have ever considered before, you might not be ready for this program, yet.
One way to get ready is to practice turning inward. Here is an easy example of this: The next time you feel judged by another, ask yourself, "how am I judging myself? Is this a judgment I hold about myself?" You might be surprised what you find when you turn it around. Feeling judged by someone else is a feeling. In my experience, the feeling of being judged often reflects how we are actually judging ourselves. I have seen myself and those I coach blame others for emotions that are happening inside ourselves. Taking time to know our own thoughts and feelings is an extremely important key to self-awareness.
Enjoy the journey. Believe in yourself and your plans. Instead of torturing yourself through a tough training program and a brutal workload, you’ll be forgiving and compassionate with yourself and accepting of what is. After all, you’ll be doing it because you choose to.
Other benefits women who have worked with me share…
Feeling more relaxed
Feeling proud of achievements
Staying focused on themselves and not getting caught up in other people’s drama
Having more fulfilling relationships
Accepting results without comparing to others
Managing injury and illness in a way that leads to quicker recovery
Creating a support team that really works Having really fun athletic adventures
Talking to themselves in a loving, kind and supportive way.
How we work together
I work with my clients in a coaching relationship that typically lasts six months to 1 year or longer. Clients start with 10 50 minute sessions. In that time we’ll peel back the layers of what makes you who you are, at a pace that is natural. We explore, experience, envision, expand and embrace.
We will meet on Skype, in person or on the phone, for weekly or bi weekly calls. Each session we will create ‘homework’ based on the content of that coaching session. Homework can range from five minutes of daily meditation to creating a strategic action plan to practicing saying no and so, so, much more.
There is no normal. We do it holistically.
Look, you are an accomplished go-getter. I don’t have to tell you the importance of discipline and consistency. However, I can help you channel your energy. By helping you clarify your values, understand your needs, be in touch with your body, have a clear vision, move past judgment, and make friends with your limiting beliefs I can help you create exactly what you want
I have an easy to use private online system that can be accessed on a smart phone, tablet or desktop. You will create a log of your coaching experience and progress.
Pre session I provide a form to prepare you to get the most out of the coaching.
Post session I provide a form to capture new insight and awareness from the session.
Between sessions I provide a log where we can both contribute to the coaching.
The online system also holds tools and exercises for moving into strategy and action.
All of this is available to you anytime to record your thoughts and create logs. And you can look back on your logs and forms at any time throughout the coaching relationship, deepening your learning and the value of the experience.
Is this program right for you?
This program is not about being better than other people. It’s not about proving how good you are. This program is for women who want break free from what is expected of them. This program is for women who don’t want to pretend their passion isn’t in using their body to its fullest physical ability. This program is for women that are ready to look at themselves with curiosity, start to unravel the judgment, and accept and love themselves for who they are.
This program is not about winning, but winning may be a by-product of working with me.
The next step… If you would like to explore working with me please fill out the questionnaire below and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours to let you know if I think there is a fit and to set up a 45- to 60-minute complimentary session.
In this complimentary session I will learn more about you, your situation, your challenges and your goals. Then I will explain in more depth how we’ll work together and answer any of your questions. If we decide there’s a good fit, we’ll move forward.
Of course, if you feel the coaching is not for you, you won’t receive any pressure to move forward.